Writing a dating profile can feel like you have to sell yourself, which is a brutal mindset to be in. However, you don’t have to carry this mindset. There is a different way of looking at this process, which is to move away from a mindset of selling yourself towards one of narrating your identity or sharing your story.

Post-date fears and rumination are very much real and a common experience for many women, and they can quickly zap any fun and enjoyment out of the dating experience, which is particularly sad when you’re having GOOD dates. However this rumination doesn’t have to be an inherent part of your post-date experience. It’s definitely possible to fully enjoy dates that go well, but it requires being aware of, and actively working on, your mindset.

One of the biggest complaints I hear about online dating is that conversations are B-O-R-I-N-G. Interactions feel superficial, pointless, and completely uninteresting. It’s often assumed that this is just the norm in online dating, that boring conversations are just a part of the deal, and that you have to tolerate them if you want to eventually meet someone. And yet this actually doesn’t have to be the case. By bringing intentionality and thoughtfulness to online dating conversations, you can have conversations that are not only fun and interesting, but productive as well in helping you to find matches that are a good fit.

One of the perks of online dating is getting to meet people from different areas that you wouldn’t have met otherwise. However, too much physical distance means that you lose a lot of the experiences that are necessary for getting to know someone and making a relationship work.

Writing a dating profile isn’t always fun, but mindset issues can take it from a task that feels tolerable to one that feels absolutely paralyzing. These mindset issues, such as self-criticism, overthinking, and perfectionism, keep us from taking steps forward, mire us in negative thoughts about ourselves, and prevent us from being our genuine selves. By working on these mindset issues, writing a dating profile can not only become tolerable, but can also become a helpful exercise in exploring yourself and what’s important to you in a relationship.

It’s so easy to get caught up in amazing chemistry. It feels so good, and it makes it extremely difficult to look at things that might not be working in the relationship. But chemistry is only half the equation. It takes a lot to create a successful relationship, and a willingness to look at the other pieces makes it much more likely that you’ll end up in a healthy, happy relationship in the long-term.

Being vulnerable in online dating can feel extremely difficult, if not impossible. It opens us up to rejection and heartache, things that none of us want. And yet without vulnerability, we miss out on all of the rewards that it brings, including joy, love, connection, and belonging.

Swiping decisions can feel difficult and overwhelming, particularly when we’re not sure of how we’re making our decisions in the first place. By learning how to use your thoughts, feelings, body, and intuition to make decisions, you can feel more confident when swiping.

Writing a dating profile can be an overwhelming, infuriating process. However, there is a key to making this easier: writing authentically about yourself.